Femme Fatale - Alter Ego

   Every word you need or want her to say is written in her expression. Her eyes pierce through you, reading your every desire and playing it back like an old record. She gently smiles cause she knows she has you right. where. she. wants. you... and     There it is, you are under her spell whether she will enchant you for the night or forever is up to her because she now holds all the power. She is the epitome of femme fatale or a "deadly woman". 

   In real life (publicly to be more specific) I am the kind, shy wallflower who only speaks when spoken to and barely gets noticed. But every girl/woman has thought about how she would be if she could dress and act the way she wanted and not get judged for it, and we most likely label it our "Alter Ego". Well I want to introduce my alter ego to you and maybe even re-introduce her to some. Standing in front of you at a strong and lean height of 5'7" with an hour glass figure perfectly proportioned in her black, turtle-neck, quarter length sleeved and skin tight dress is none other than Marie. As you take time to examine her you notice her dark black hair cut into a uneven bob falling to her collar bone. Something about her eyes has captured you but you're just not sure what it is... Yes, my alter ego is a powerful sexy woman. You may even say a seductress of some sorts. She uses her sassy wit and fiery demeanor to enchant your soul (doesn't matter if you are male or female). She doesn't have to speak to get her point across to you ... she wants you (your company, your undivided attention, your love...). 

  I got inspired to write about my alter ego because every now and then she likes to rear her head in real life situations where I feel EXTRA confident. She usually catches people off guard and withdraws before being caught. On the rare occasion you may get her full on, but that is really really really rare. Marie narrows in on a person and makes it her goal to make them weak off her mere presence. Dependent upon her mood and who she has zoned in on usually nothing stands in her way of getting just that your affection. Luckily the real me is too shy and stubborn to let her reign and she remains an alter ego, but... if you ever catch my eye and she zeros in here are a few signs....

NOT! Femme fatales don't tell all. But know when you catch THAT stare or feel THAT closeness... she is very near and she is lurking on her next prey. 

XOXO 
Marie

P.S. You're special if you have already gotten a glimpse of her, but don't get your hopes up in the fantasy she may feed you! ;)

Hope you liked hearing about my alter ego! Maybe one day I will learn to mingle her in with my personality and she will no longer be an alter ego! 

After all this time...ALWAYS

 After all this time ... ALWAYS

Classic Harry Potter quote with a lot of meaning!!!

      This simple quote speaks words of wisdom to those of us in relationships whether it be long distance, long term, or married. To me  this quote simply amplifies the fact that even after years and years of being together they still  have those feelings they had from the beginning and forever will. I am a true believer in fairy tale love. I don't believe in all these stupid ideas about being with someone for so long can take the love out of a relationship. That you can get bored with someone you love. That arguing is a way of showing you love someone. Don't get me wrong its completely possible to feel all of these things when you don't put in the effort (from both parties) to make a difference. I can only tell you things from my point of view so here it is:

      My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, 5 months and 12 days.. I can honestly say that within those years we have raised our voices and not talked to each other maybe once. We are not the couple for arguing or throwing fits (even though I do sometimes, he handles them well). In my previous relationship which was also long term (almost 6 years), I struggled to find ways to keep things fresh, not to get bored and to stay interested and level headed. But I found out through much trial and error that when you are truly in love you don't have to over-think these things because they come naturally. You are always wanted to make the other person happy, cheer them up and do all the dorky romantic stuff you see in the movies for them. My rule of thumb has always been if I feel like I am not being romanticized enough: What have I done romantic for him lately?? 

That's when the mush fest begins: 

1. Its true that you don't have to BUY things to have a good time... Examples:

• George had me a indoor picnic during Christmas time under an all white Christmas tree with candles and all the random food in the kitchen (chicken strips, chips, biscuits)

• I took time out of my day to like almost every picture or status on his Facebook page, I even messaged him and wrote on his wall.

• We send random e-mails or cards to each other without letting the other person know so they are surprised.

2. Keep conversation fresh... Examples:

• We have a very forgetful memory so we take time out to ask each other questions, kind of like the "21 Questions" Game
• We find books or TV shows that we can talk about together: Our favorite show is Vampire Diaries and we openly discuss the 50 Shades of Grey and his hatred for Harry Potter. 
• We plan the future theoretically by asking questions: "What kind of house do you want?" "Where do you want to live?" WHY? (that always kicks are conversations into gear.)

3. We have an understanding that arguing will be a waste of our energy and we are too lazy for that!! Why scream and yell when the whole point of us talking to each other is to listen?!

4. Reminisce... Yes, we often ponder back on things we did when we first got together such as our first kiss, first time going to the fair, etc. Its always fun and interesting to compare stories and memories. (We found out that I focus I minor detailed things whereas he sees the big picture event)

5. Always find time to tell the person how much you love them... whether you buy them roses and a card or simply send a text... NEVER FORGET THE SMALL THINGS! 

Well, I think I have babbled on enough about what we do... I hope this helps someone to keep the LOVE alive. Cause I don't know about you but I want my kids to be able to use me as their prime example to what love really looks like!!! :)

Keep it Classy, XOXO

Beautiful (random small thing: He has called me by this nickname since we first started dating and I told him I really loved that adjective :D )

My D-Xirable Ladies!!!

      People ask me all the time, "Now what is the name of your sorority?!" Well I am a member of Delta Xi Phi Multicultural Sorority, Inc. We are the LARGEST and ONLY Multicultural Sorority in the SEC and at Mississippi State University! As an African American student I get crazy looks all the time... you know that look you just gave me when I said I was African American and you immediately went back to make sure I didn't misspell Delta Sigma Theta. LOL! That is fine! I get it a lot at home, on campus, church, etc. It is a small organization and it most definitely isn't for those T-Shirt Wearing Members (those people who join organizations just to say they are in it and put it on an application)! We battle a lot as a "different" kind of Greek organization in the south: Work overload, crazy stares, belief that we really aren't a Greek organization, and did I mention the crazy stares?!

WORK OVERLOAD
    People often see me or my sorority sisters looking like we are about to drown in work... Well usually we are! Or we may seem like we want to just strangle each other... We absolutely do! But our trademark saying for Gamma Chapter of Delta Xi Phi is "What you see is what you get!" We don't try to pretend like everyday is like running through a field of yellow roses into the sunset! We work tremendously hard!! We are who we are! No I don't get along with all my sisters on a daily basis... Hence the word "sisters". We truly are the epitome of a family! Some days we love to be around each and other days with love to give each other the blank stare (-___-)! Also as a small Greek organization a lot of work is spread among a small amount of already overly busy people! So every person has to step up and no one is ever allowed to rest on the job (which is a 24/7 job)! But at the end of the day, its love and we know we would do anything for each other and our organization!

FALSE BELIEF
   We get underestimated a lot! We are a Social Greek Organization like everyone else. We accept people no matter their COLOR, CREED, CULTURE or RELIGION. Its the main focus of our organization!!!  Yes, we are the group of girls that most people never thought would ever become Greek! We support each others' decisions no matter how different they may be from our personal beliefs! We have chapters NATIONWIDE! We have a National Board and an abundance of still active alumnae! We do wear Greek Letter jackets, stroll (varies from chapter to chapter), have special sisters only information and we RUSH (also differs from chapter to chapter). We are GREEK! We are REAL! 

LOOKS
    I won't even write much in this section because I think I made my point in the opening paragraph. As a different organization we get a lot of strange glares. You know, that look like "You are not really serious?" or "That's an honors group, right?!" or just "WHY?!" True! I could have chosen any other organization in the Divine 9 (just using this as an example cause I am African American and that's where my crazy looks stem from. "Shaughnessy, Why didn't you join a historic Greek organization?! You would have gotten further with them." <--- Yes, I have been told this before!), but I chose  DXP! Just like any other Sorority Lady chose their Organization over another. I just felt at home with these ladies! :)

Anywhoo! I thought I would write about one of the BEST decisions I have ever made in my life and I hope everyone makes a decision that is right for them! 

Whatever you do, in college, GO GREEK!!! Its totally FUN!!! ;)

Stick It!

   The hardest part of anything is actually sticking to it! Anyone can start a project or be great at something for 5 minutes, but those people that commit are the ones who succeed. Committing to something has always been my down fall in life, but when I do spectacular things happen! This blog is a failed attempt at me trying to commit to something. LOL! Recently though I have started running and working out. I decided to set an alarm  Monday, Wednesday and Friday to wake up and run. I told my boyfriend jokingly (but semi-serious) that its awesome if I can stick to this but I have to wait at least two weeks to decide whether it had become a habit. Well it's 3 weeks and I have only missed one day of running. I feel better and I get more work done daily. Its not that I don't have faith in myself to stick to something but I know as soon as something gets harder to do I give up. So my real trial comes with if I continue doing this after school starts! School, work, exercising and sorority! I think I can do it if I just.... STICK IT!!!

Hula Dance Update

      So this is an update on my Adventures of Hula Hoop Dancing! I'm just practicing on a few skills at a time... I even have my nephew working with me. : ) I feel a little accomplished everytime I get something new. My favorite part of today though was when I tried to do my throw and I dropped my hoop ... my nephew said, "You just have to practice." And the next time I tried it, I threw it and I caught it!!! Gotta keep him around for the entire adventure...

    Welp I just wanted to give everyone an update. . . Its GO FOR IT season!!!

GO FOR IT!!!

            So this may only apply to me, but I know that every other day I find something new that I would love to try! Whether it be pole dancing, hoop dancing, bow-and-arrow, volunteer firefighter, body builder or Miss Black MS USA... I have considered it all. But I guess my question is, "Whats wrong with that?" Why can't I attempt.. and yes possibly fail at some of these things... If someone puts their mind to it they can achieve anything, right?! So I have decided to put this to the ultimate test... My Summer/Fall 2012 will be dedicated to doing all the crazy ridiculous things I still tell my boyfriend I want to try to this day. I will blog about... the good, the bad and the ugly! Some of these will take more than half a year to do, but it will be done. I'm tired of people looking at me crazy when I say I want to do something... Cause you know what, its possible! And now since I am pretty clear on what I want to do professionally <clinical psychologist>, I can concentrate on all the ridiculous things that distract my mind daily.  And Hoop Dancing is number 1 on my to-do list... Priority One: Get a hula hoop! LOL!

       I said all that to say this: If there is something ridiculously, out of this world, crazy that you have always wanted to try at least once... GO FOR IT! Paint, Tight Rope, Ballroom Dancing, Photography, Singing, Playing Piano... etc. GO FOR IT! Cause at the end of the day, they may say its crazy but when it's all said and done... You can tell them that you did it <you liked it, you didn't like it, it was difficult, you suck at it>, but you did it!

So go explore a hidden talent.... You never know you may find the next million dollar act!!!! :)

UNIVERSAL

       People always make the statement that language, race and religion can be huge barriers but one thing that is always universal is a smile or laughter. And this is very true. But I would like to make the argument that there is one more thing that is universal other than a smile that if recognized as such could make a world of difference: MISTAKES. We all make them and we even find time in our schedule to let other people know they are making them. We like to make the cliche statement that no one is perfect, but when it comes down to it no one wants to admit that they have made a mistake. Well .  .  . I make mistakes, BIG mistakes! And sometimes I don't make up for my mistakes or confess to having made the mistake. <Hey, look another mistake I make> Everyone makes them. . .we get upset, we say and do things we don't mean, we make a mistake that is hard to take back and could potentially lead to more mistakes and not just our own.
      As much as we would like to say "it was because of this" and "because you said or did this", the truth of the matter is for one second in time we forgot who we were <HUMANS> and we forgot that the one thing that humans are good at is the ability to make mistakes. And this is when the cycle begins <You make a mistake-I get frustrated with your mistake-So I do something that ends up being a mistake-Then you get upset with me for my mistake> . And at the end of the day, we know, neither will back down and say they were wrong. Hell. . .You'll be lucky if the person even acknowledges that you exist anymore.
     So as not only a psychology major but also a leader of an organization on a university campus, I see this all the time. I'm a part of it more than half the time. And I'll be the first to admit that I usually know when I'm making a mistake or allowing someone to make a mistake. . .I think it through in my head and I go, "Well if no harm comes of it. . .No point correcting it now." And that is when the world explodes, buildings start crashing, the oceans start to cover the continents, all food supplies are down and the temperature heats up to a BOIL. Ok. . .so it's not that dramatic, but it can feel that way. It is hard to remind yourself at all times that a universal law states that at some point I will as a human make a mistake that could be a domino for a whole bunch of nonsense mistakes. I guess the next best question is "WHO WILL BE THE BIGGER PERSON?"

P.S. I made a mistake. . .Can WE fix it?!